The Deposit

Picture it. North Carolina. 2012. There I sit in my bedroom making a phone call to Microsoft. They have billed me $10 for a month of Xbox live after I cancelled my membership. This time they cancel properly and promise to return my $10. Day after day, week after week I tirelessly search for my money only to be met with defeat. The money was nowhere to be found.

Two years later September 5, 2014  a deposit from Microsoft, for $10 was made in the early morning hours. Surprised and confused I made my way to the nearest convenience store for a Mountain Dew to calm the confusion.

The Wasp Nest

I took a deep breath and drank the last sip of my Mountain Dew, as I prepared my mind, body, and soul for the upcoming battle. I raised my can of weapons-grade wasp killer to begin the incursion. Four wasps emerged from the nest as I start spraying. I caught the first two off guard when I doused the nest, killing them where they stood. The third, I found sitting on the wall preparing for attack. His wings began to beat, but he was to slow. I achieved a direct hit on him as he fell to the ground in a white foamy mess. Behind me I hear the fourth and final wasp blazing in on a surprise maneuver. I whipped my can around and like an elite marksman I shot him to the ground. As I stand in victory over the lifeless bodies of dead wasps I think to myself, "This calls for another can of Mountain Dew."
This, my friends, is how I do the Dew.